Digital Fortress

Digital Fortress
by Dan Brown


Blurb:

Before the multi-million, runaway bestseller The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown set his razor-sharp research and storytelling skills on the most powerful intelligence organization on earth--the National Security Agency (NSA), an ultra-secret, multibillion-dollar agency many times more powerful than the CIA.

When the NSA's invincible code-breaking machine encounters a mysterious code it cannot break, the agency calls its head cryptographer, Susan Fletcher, a brilliant and beautiful mathematician. What she uncovers sends shock waves through the corridors of power. The NSA is being held hostage...not by guns or bombs, but by a code so ingeniously complex that if released it would cripple U.S. intelligence.

Caught in an accelerating tempest of secrecy and lies, Susan Fletcher battles to save the agency she believes in. Betrayed on all sides, she finds herself fighting not only for her country but for her life, and in the end, for the life of the man she loves.

From the underground hallways of power to the skyscrapers of Tokyo to the towering cathedrals of Spain, a desperate race unfolds. It is a battle for survival--a crucial bid to destroy a creation of inconceivable genius...an impregnable code-writing formula that threatens to obliterate the post-cold war balance of power. Forever.

My Reaction:
Donald and I read this for the 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back bookclub/podcast.

I have to admit, I enjoyed reading this-- but only because it was so hilariously bad.

...You know, when reading a novel with the intention of mocking it, I sometimes feel the tiniest little twinge of guilt if it's a self-published work. It feels... if not wrong, at least not exactly nice to make fun of the writing of someone who is clearly not particularly good at writing, doesn't do it for a living, and may not be completely... well, "with it", if you know what I mean.

That's not to say I won't still chortle and guffaw-- because I will and do-- but sometimes I find I can't enjoy it to the fullest.

But when the author is someone famous for writing-- someone who's sold hundreds of millions of copies-- I can gleefully point and laugh without the slightest inhibition. 

It's been good.


Things That Got the Biggest Laughs (off the top of my head):
-- How stupid "geniuses" are in this book! It's insane! They are some of the least intelligent characters I've ever read. I mean, I really strained my poor brain to try to comprehend that Susan could be hottt and have a genius-level IQ, only to find out that a genius-level IQ means diddly-squat in Dan Brown's world, based on how stupid Susan proves to be. She's not the only wildly successful numbskull, either. Evidently it doesn't take smarts to land a high-ranking job at the NSA. (Good to know!)

-- Dan Brown's apparent disdain for Spain. (Kewl, that rhymes!) I mean, seriously! It was funny and a bit curious the first time or two, but then it just keeps on coming-- and it's still amusing, but it grows from "curious" to "utterly bizarre". He had to be aware of what he was doing, right? I can't believe this happened by accident. It was a calculated, relentless attack on a whole country. Very strange.

-- The way that characters automatically repeat whatever they've just heard. It happens so many times! A little of that is fine, but it was so frequent as to be noticeable. Lazy writing. (I wonder what percentage of the dialogue was this parrot act...)

-- That time that the hero got an innocent stranger killed! Not buying the "excuse", either. David Becker's as good as a murderer, y'all.

-- The fact that the bodies of bystanders keep piling up, but we're evidently only supposed to care whether or not David and Susan end up together at Stone Manor. (By the way, what is with that name? "Stone Manor"? What a hideously boring name choice! And this is coming from someone who as a child called her white stuffed cat toy "Snowball". But I'm not getting paid the big bucks to come up with creative, evocative, non-painfully-clichéd names.)

-- The END. Wow. I don't want to spoil it for anyone, if you haven't already read it, but man, the characters really take it to another level of "I Can't Believe Supposedly Intelligent Characters Could Be THIS Dumb". And let's drag it out over several chapters, why don't we?! Really get the readers banging their heads against the wall in the grand finale!

-- The "twist". Didn't see it coming-- have it give Dan Brown that much credit. However, it wasn't quite the zinger I think he thought it would be, because I didn't really care about either of those characters, to be brutally honest. (...Well, ok. I didn't really care about any of the characters! Definitely one of those books where you know that the hero/heroine will be fine at the end, but you couldn't care less if they lived, died, whatever.)


Not the worst thing I've ever read, but very poorly written, considering this is a best-selling author. Perfect for 372-Pages.