Empress Theresa

Empress Theresa

by Norman Boutin

Author's Blurb (...?):

Theresa is honest, courageous, brilliant, loved by everybody ( even China wants her to take herself out of danger ), happily married, powerful but harmless, thoughtful of others' welfare not just her own, a believer in God, and an inspiration to the young and old. She attacks "impossible" problems with everything she's got and she never gives up. ____ "Those who challenge Theresa Hartley's power are fools" says the Israeli Prime Minister. "She could destroy the world."____ "Don't mess around with Empress Theresa!" says her husband Steve. __ Empress Theresa is what some people would consider impossible, a book about a good girl, with no sex, foul language, or violence, but still giving the reader an action-filled fascinating story. 

My Reaction:

(This is another 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back read, shared with Donald.)

Oh my gosh, I cannot stand Theresa.  She's just—argh!!  The author wants you to think she's some amazing paragon who's brilliant, brave, and wise beyond her years (and hotttt, too, of course).  But as the Empress herself might phrase it, "yeah, well", the truth is that she's an obnoxious, conceited brat of a teenager who just happened to luck into god-like powers.  (Well, sort of.  They're very strange and ill-defined powers, which she wields with all the wisdom, skill, and humility you'd expect from a bratty teenager.) At her worst, she's one of the most hateable characters I've ever come across who isn't an actual serial killer or abusive piece of crap.  Given the way Theresa is described, it's uncomfortable and creepy to remember that this was written by a man in his mid-60s. Is she his fantasy crush or his self-insert character—or both? Ick.

Then there's the science angle. None of it makes any sense, and I'm not just talking about the science fiction stuff.  It's utter insanity, yet presented in such a way that we're obviously meant to be impressed! 

There's unintentional humor, but also intense boredom and confusion and annoyance.  The podcast is the only reason to read this, as far as I'm concerned. 

Deception Point

Deception Point

by Dan Brown

Blurb:

When a new NASA satellite spots evidence of an astonishingly rare object buried deep in the Arctic ice, the floundering space agency proclaims a much-needed victory… a victory that has profound implications for U.S. space policy and the impending presidential election.

With the Oval Office in the balance, the President dispatches White House Intelligence analyst Rachel Sexton to the Milne Ice Shelf to verify the authenticity of the find. Accompanied by a team of experts, including the charismatic academic Michael Tolland, Rachel uncovers the unthinkable—evidence of scientific trickery—a bold deception that threatens to plunge the world into controversy.

But before Rachel can contact the President, she and Michael are attacked by a deadly task force…a private team of assassins controlled by a mysterious powerbroker who will stop at nothing to hide the truth. Fleeing for their lives in an environment as desolate as it is lethal, they possess only one hope, to find out who is behind this masterful ploy. The truth, they will learn, is the most shocking deception of all…

My Reaction:
Read with Donald for the 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back podcast/book club.  

It's silly and formulaic, crammed with inaccurate information, much longer than it needs to be, and set at an often agonizingly slow pace, but I still found it more enjoyable to read than some of the other things we've read along with 372 Pages.  

(We've also read Digital Fortress, by the same author—and along with the same podcast—and were amused by some parallels between the two.)

Night of the Crabs

Night of the Crabs

by Guy N. Smith

Blurb:

The Welsh coast basks in summer tranquility, then the drownings begin... Not until the monstrous crustaceans crawl ashore, their pincers poised for destruction, does the world understand the threat it faces....

My Reaction:

This was selected for the 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back podcast, and as usual, Donald and I read it together.  

I was expecting this to be a slightly sillier version of Jaws.  (I've never read the book, but I've seen the movie very many times.)  It was even sillier than I'd expected—and surprisingly risqué.  (Perhaps that aspect is less surprising when you read the author's biography and see the other types of "literature" in his bibliography.)  

SPOILERS follow...

The marine biologist/renowned botanist/professor/very "with it" uncle of what's-his-name isn't quite as brilliant as he thinks he is, but then again, everyone in this book is kind of dumb!  

There's an obvious hole in their first big plan to thwart the evil crabs, and everyone is SHOCKED when the plan doesn't work—but then they have another idea that seems so stupid it couldn't possibly work, so of course it does.  

Except... There are no dead crabs under the sea or washing up on shore... And didn't they just go through a time when the crabs were nowhere to be seen... and everyone became complacent... until the crabs resurfaced and killed a whole bunch of people?  Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine this time!  

I don't care for creature-feature monsters that are too impervious to everything that should by rights kill them.  Sure, they're big and armored, but I'm not buying that they're invulnerable to fire or that you can't, you know, aim for their eyes and blind them with good old-fashioned bullets. 

We never do get a satisfying answer as to where they came from—and why only now.   The whole scene with Cliff Davenport (full name, please) spying on the planes at the military base, being shut in "the hole" and then interrogated—leads nowhere!  Very disappointing.  

The only part of the book that actually felt creepy was the poor train engineer (I guess?) who has had a prophetic recurring nightmare about his death that then comes true.  I don't know why, but that gave me a genuine chill.   

Oh well.  The story ends with Cliff Davenport and Pat Benatar Benson heading off to London to marry and live happily ever after (or at least until they learn that the crabs survived, because this is the first of a series of 7—SEVEN!!—books). 

Mars Reborn (Moon People #2)

Mars Reborn (Moon People #2)

by Dale M. Courtney

Blurb:

This Book is based on Earth into a new era of light speed travel thanks to the Powleens from a world called Sybon. And the adventure of 1st Science Officer Commander David Braymer’s journey on board his new ship called the Aurora, ”The Goddess of the Dawn”, Commander Braymer does a successful genesis and Colonization of Mars and resurrects Martians and animals that were frozen 100,000 years with mental powers. With also the war between worlds for control of the Galaxy with Earth and Powleens against the Arcons and the Thracians.

My Reaction:

Donald and I read this together to fill in a gap between books for the 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back podcast.  We read the first one along with the podcast, back in 2022, so when we noticed that the rest of the trilogy was available on Kindle Unlimited, we decided to give it a try.  

This would be another great candidate for the podcast, though I don't know if they'll want to return to the series. Lots of fodder here.  It certainly didn't fail to entertain us, and I wouldn't mind reading the last book in the series, one of these days.  It does take some extra effort to read, what with the lack of quotation marks in a very dialogue-heavy book!  I think the comedy value is worth the trouble, though.

Children of the Sun

Children of the Sun

by Beth Lewis

Blurb:

Summer 1982. Deep in the Adirondack Mountains, over three hundred people live off-grid in a secret community. Atlas is a refuge for broken souls who long for a different life. Founded by the enigmatic Sol, the group now prepares for their final ceremony: the opening of the Golden Door. They believe they will cross to another world, to a new life where their past decisions never ended in tragedy.

James Morrow is a rookie New York City reporter intent on making his name with an exposé of the crazy cult in the woods. He secures an invitation to the camp on the condition he tell the world of its wonders, but James is a sceptic. He's sure there must be more to the mysterious leader and his endgame than his followers have signed up for.

James soon finds there is a darker side to the cult beyond the prayers and yellow robes. A group of children are treated like gods, there are iron strips embedded in the earth, and nobody talks about what's behind the gates of Sol's private sanctuary. As James learns the stories of the members and how they came to be there, he begins to understand the desperate nature of their beliefs - a desperation he knows all too well.

As the final ceremony draws near, James must ask himself: what will it cost them to reach this other life? And is that a price he's willing to pay?

My Reaction:

I've had varying responses to some of this author's previous works.  I enjoyed The Wolf Road, but found Bitter Sun so unpleasant that I didn't finish it (though did later do so much skimming of the end just to see how it ended that I probably might as well have done so).  This one falls right in the middle.  It's much better than Bitter Sun, but I couldn't say I enjoyed the reading experience.  

The idea at the center of the book is interesting, but I found the story too drawn out.  Maybe part of the issue is that there are three narrators; switching point of view can be an effective literary device, but it has to be used with care, because all too often it seems to bog things down. Just when you get into one thread of the story, perspective shifts, and you lose momentum (or at least I do)—and many times there's one perspective that's more interesting to read, and you find yourself resenting the shift back to the "boring" narrator. 

Another problem (for me) was the back-and-forth and round-and-round of the narrators' internal monologues as they try to figure things out.  Do they think the other character is bad or good—insane or a genius?  Some of that may be just part of maintaining the mystery until the end, but at a certain point I stop caring and just want it to end.  Characters who talk or think in endless circles are so frustrating to read!  Ultimately, it could have been improved by a more ruthless editor.  

Little Nit-Picks (with SPOILERS):

• Do we ever find out what happened to the child in the Florida camp?  I guess it was an early experiment that went wrong?  I don't recall if it was ever explained at all. 
• I feel that grouping the three points of view under days of the week when it turns out that one is happening more than a decade later is a bit sneaky and misleading.  If the book hadn't been broken up by day of week, fair enough, but I specifically questioned the various timelines early in the book, and that grouping under days of the week (along with references to the approaching eclipse) felt like a contract between author and reader that, yes, all three were happening concurrently.  At least now I don't have to point out all the things in Eve's story that wouldn't have made sense in the 80s but maybe work for the late 90s...
• I also don't understand the urgency in Eve's search for the Adirondack camp.  If she just wanted to find the camp, there was no rush, but she seemed to think she had a limited amount of time in which to find Sol and take revenge on him.  However, didn't she remember enough to know that Sol had gone through the door (part of her reason for wanting revenge)?  So why did she think he would be back on this particular day?  Maybe I missed something...
• This is a little, petty thing, but it's funny to me when authors use a mix of American and British English.  The incongruity takes me out of the story.  Also, I had a dry little chuckle that in the fantasy alternate universe briefly revealed at the end of the book, the main differences we're let in on are that the colors of certain road signs are different (ooh, ahh), diner coffee is better, corndogs are worse, and "there is even a burgeoning national health service".  OMG, the alternative-reality USA has seen the error of its ways and made their very own copy of the glorious NHS?!  Yippee!  (It really is an obsession for some people, isn't it?)
• I don't get the choice to make Root speak that way.  It's unnecessary and just makes the book harder to read.  I suspect it was mainly used to add another element of confusion and uncertainty to the story.  Presumably Root speaks oddly because the sunbeams have limited interaction with the other people in the community, but they're surrounded by other people and hear them talking all the time.  Also, the other sunbeams don't seem to speak in such a stunted fashion, so it still doesn't make sense. Maybe Root subconsciously affects this speech pattern to reflect a feeling of separation from the others.  Who knows?!
• Some plot elements are nonsensical.  For example, James has the opportunity to leave.  He fears for his life, so has every motivation to get the heck out of there.  He has a map/directions, which he used to find the camp only a week before, and he's all prepared to drive back out the way he came.  However, he discovers that his keys are gone, and he doesn't know how to hot-wire a car, so he would need to walk out instead.  He acts as though this is impossible because the directions are just sooooo confusing that he couldn't possibly follow them on foot.  Oh, and he's not wearing boots.  So.  You get it.  It's impossible, right?  Yeah, the route he took must've been wide enough to fit his car through, and he could've followed those same directions in the car, but it's out of the question that he should be able to attempt it on foot.  Are you nuts?!  Anyway, you see my frustration here, right?  It's dumb. Sure, ideally you'd want some water and boots, but if you're literally running for your life, you take a breath and get moving.  If the author didn't want the guy to get out, she needed to give us a better reason than that. Even just "I couldn't leave those kids to die without trying one more time" would've been better. 
• You can't have it both ways.  This cult-that-isn't-a-cult is supposed to feel mostly warm and fuzzy by the end of the book, but they still engaged in some awful behavior.  Branding people for disobedience?!  Feeding innocent children metal to turn them into human batteries? 
• So... Was Sol the father of all the sunbeams?  Just Root?  None of them at all?  Why did they all know who their mothers were (different women in the group) but no comment on their fathers? Maybe I missed something that made this point completely clear.
• One of the things in this book that elicits the most "ARGH" reaction from me is the fact that everyone in the cult/group goes to the same alternative dimension/reality.  Sol's premise, as I understand it, is that every decision we make creates a new fork in the road.  He chose to work late one day, which resulted in a car accident that claimed the lives of his wife and daughter.  He believes that there exists an offshoot of reality (another world) where he didn't work late, and so his family has survived and lives on.  The same thing is supposed to be true for everyone in the group: There's a reality where they made "the other choice", and everything worked out for the best. But... First of all, do you realize how many choices we make every day?  How many offshoot worlds there would have to be, if each decision created a fork in multiple directions to account for every possible option we could have chosen?  Do I eat a sandwich for lunch or have pizza?  Do I wear the red shirt or the blue?  Do I look to the right or the left? Each of these creates another world—and multiply that by every person alive.  And then each version of us in each reality faces a whole lifetime of further decisions and forks in the road.  There would be infinite dimensions or realities!  Or does The Universe somehow pick and choose which decisions are life-altering and only splits for those?  UGH.  And yet all the people in the group travel to the same alternate reality, so it seems like there's only this world and the other one... No, I'm sorry, but it's pure nonsense, even if I try to follow along with the theory for the sake of the story. 

Tek Kill

Tek Kill

(TekWar #8)

by William Shatner & Ron Goulart

Blurb:

When his boss is wrongly accused of murder, detective Jake Cardigan finds himself trying to convince police to believe in a known drug user's telepathic visions rather than the videotape evidence they already have.

My Reaction:

Donald and I read this together for the 372-Pages podcast.  It's the second in the series the book club podcast has covered, the previous read being the first of the series.  

I have to admit, I never got the love (if that's the right word) some of the 372-Pages listeners apparently had for TekWar.  There were some unintentionally funny elements, but I found it less appealing than many of the other things we've read.  The story was just bland and very samey, and this one was... well, more of the same.  

I don't have anything to say about this, really.  The podcast episodes were mostly fun, as usual, but I think it was clear that this wasn't a favorite of the hosts, either.  

The main thing I took away from this reading is that in the TekWar universe, nearly everything is fake—plas-this, sub-that, neo, pseudo, etc.—to the point that even plants are all merely holograms.  It's a disturbing vision of the future that I'm glad to leave behind!

The Pesthouse

The Pesthouse

by Jim Crace

Blurb:

Once the safest, most prosperous place on earth, the United States is now a lawless, scantly populated wasteland. The machines have stopped. The government has collapsed. Farmlands lie fallow and the soil is contaminated by toxins. Across the country, families have packed up their belongings to travel eastward toward the one hope passage on a ship to Europe.

Franklin Lopez and his brother, Jackson, are only days away from the ocean when Franklin, nearly crippled by an inflamed knee, is forced to stop. In the woods near his temporary refuge, Franklin comes upon an isolated stone building. Inside he finds Margaret, a woman with a deadly infection and confined to the Pesthouse to sweat out her fever. Tentatively, the two join forces and make their way through the ruins of old America. Confronted by bandits rounding up men for slavery, finding refuge in the Ark, a religious community that makes bizarre demands on those they shelter, Franklin and Margaret find their wariness of each other replaced by deep trust and an intimacy neither one has ever experienced before.

My Reaction:

It took a little time to get into the flow of the language with this one, and even once I did, I had some issues with the pacing, but on the whole, I found this an interesting tale.  I appreciated that it wasn't remotely as gratuitously dark as so much post-apocalyptic fiction tends to be; that made for a nice change.  

There's a lot I still don't understand about the world the author built in this book.  Why have people forgotten so much about their history, for instance, while they've managed to hold on to other things (like the traditional, Founding-Father names)?  

Anyway, I find I don't have much to say about this, now that I'm done with it.  It's different... If you don't mind a meandering pace and feel intrigued by a future civilization that feels more like a medieval/Old West mash-up than The Jetsons, this is for you.  Ah, just be forewarned that it's a post-apocalyptic romance, minus much of what you usually find in a romance!  (It's an odd book.)

The Land of the Moepek

The Adventures of the Teen Archaeologists: The Land of the Moepek

by Larry Elis and Denise Brown Elise

Blurb:

Three teenagers Billy who is seventeen, Thomas who is sixteen and Rebecca who is fifteen are from Britain and are the children of archaeologists. During a family vacation to Africa they meet Samirah and her two best friends Adam and Atikah. The six teenagers travel through the Pyramid of the Moepek and find their way to the underground city of the Moepek civilization using an ancient map. They not only encounter wild animals, dinosaurs, warriors, and assassins, but also realize they they are prisoners in the strange underground world. There is Naeduur who is the head warrior in charge of protecting the king and his royal family. Naeduur is furious at the six teens for entering into the Land of the Moepek. Naeduur would like nothing more than to destroy the teenagers. There is also Isabella. She is very powerful and can perform all kinds of magic. She will stop at nothing to destroy her enemies and those that get in her way. The Land of the Moepek is full of traitors and plots to destroy the entire royal family. Princess Assuenta with the help of the Teen Archaeologists must work to stop the assassination of her father the king and the destruction of her entire family. Not even her parents believe their daughter the princess. Princess Assuenta must find a way to make them believe or her father will die. The people of the Moepek are an extremely wealthy civilization with riches beyond the teens' imaginations. But all their wealth means nothing if they can't survive the gigantic flying dinosaurs and the gigantic gorilla creature that threatens them.

My Reaction:

(This was another 372-Pages We'll Never Get Back selection and a shared read with Donald.)

So.  What can one say about The Land of the Moepek, really?  It is utterly bananas and hilarious—just read the blurb for a tiny taste of the writing style.  

If you're the right kind of reader, this book (and the podcast episodes devoted to it) will be a source of amazing entertainment.  If you're not, you'll be convinced we're all nuts, my friend.  (Sorry, that was more a reference to the authors' other novel, Antigua: The Land of Fairies, Wizards and Heroes—also covered by 372 Pages and also highly recommended.)

I'm giving it 5 stars out of appreciation for the joy it gave.  

The Victorian Chaise-Longue

The Victorian Chaise-Longue

by Marghanita Laski

Blurb:

A young married woman lies down on a chaise-longue and wakes to find herself imprisoned in the body of her alter ego ninety years before.

My Reaction:

I've had this one on my list for years, but now that I've finally read it, I never want to read it again—and that's not because it's so horrifying that I couldn't bear to revisit it.  Though this work of psychological horror certainly is unsettling—and it also happens to feature the type of horror that probably bothers me most, body horror, health horror, medical horror—it's not calculated to leave me sleepless or anxious.  

Sadly, I wouldn't care to read it again because I didn't find it a satisfying reading experience.  Though it's already short, as a novella, it felt in need of yet more pruning.  It could easily have been cut even shorter, and I believe it would have been more effective if it had been.  As it was, it felt repetitive in a way that numbed and stupefied rather than heightening the tension.  (On the other hand, it could have been fleshed out into a more engaging full-length novel, but the repetitiveness still would have needed to be addressed.)

There were some interesting ideas to explore here, especially the way that a culture's standards of morality and acceptable behavior shift over time.  What would be an unpardonable sin during one period of time might be almost a mere foible a hundred years later.  When (not to mention where) we are born can be the difference between life and death, joy and misery.  

As for the ending, maybe it's just a matter of taste... I know some people like open-ended stories, but I'm not one of them.  A little ambiguity can be okay, but this felt disappointing.  At least it was short!

Artemis

Artemis

by Andy Weir

Blurb:

Jazz Bashara is a criminal.

Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent.

Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down. But pulling off the impossible is just the start of her problems, as she learns that she's stepped square into a conspiracy for control of Artemis itself—and that now, her only chance at survival lies in a gambit even riskier than the first.

My Reaction:

First things first:  This was another read-along with Donald and the 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back podcast.  If you're familiar with the premise of the podcast, well, you know how this review will probably go...

I've never read The Martian, and though I saw the movie, I have only vague memories of it.  A science-y tale of survival on Mars, a celebration of the indomitable, can-do human spirit, and... potatoes?  Definitely something about growing potatoes.  Anyway, that's not a lot, but that's about it.  I remember that the protagonist had a distinctive voice that amounted to lots and lots of jokes—the kind of thing that is funny for a while, but would eventually drive you 'round the bend.  

From what little I recall (and a few hastily skimmed reviews), it seems that the attitude that people found charming in The Martian didn't quite land as well in Artemis.  

The main thing I remember about this book is rolling my eyes at what passes for humor and yawning through the boring parts.  Between the juvenile "comedy" and the science info-dump sections, there wasn't much going on (except for tedious descriptions of someone welding).  The protagonist isn't someone you naturally feel the urge to root for, and the whole thing is just blah.  So, yes, this wasn't impressive, but it's far (FAR) from the worst thing we've read with 372-Pages.  

A couple of specific nit-picks:

--Chekhov's reusable condom just peters out (ha ha, see what I did there?) and comes (hee hee) to nothing.  Talk about anti-climactic (hur hur)!  I was expecting some stupid joke at the very end between Jazz and (redacted)... Something supremely clever and witty, like, "Hey, Xxxxx, wanna go give that reusable condom a spin around the ol' block?"  But no, not even that.  It's just a gross idea with no real payoff.

--Jazz's entire ambition and driving force through most of the novel is to get rich.  She doesn't want to go back to Earth; she only wants a nicer home in Artemis—something roomier than her coffin-room with just a bed and a communal bathroom down the hall.  She wants a shower of her own, somewhere to cook, etc.  

Hm.  Sounds like homes in Artemis must be prohibitively expensive!  Except... Did I miss something?  

One of her friends, Svoboda, has a place that sounds an awful lot like what she wants, and while he's intelligent and reasonably successful, I don't think he's supposed to be particularly wealthy.  Also, Jazz's father also has a place of his own, right?  It seems like a lot of people on Artemis do...

So why is Jazz's dream out of reach without some once-in-a-lifetime "big score"?  Why can't she just do a normal job, save a bit, and earn enough for a decent home?  She's supposed to be so amazingly bright that it should be easy for her to find a job that pays well enough for that.  I just don't get it.  (Okay, I just remembered, thanks to the blurb, that she has "debts" to pay, but still.  I don't think it makes much sense that she's struggling this hard.)

Actually, a lot of things (economics, population) don't hold up well to serious scrutiny.  If I were having fun while reading, I might not be tempted to pick holes, but without entertainment value, the mind wanders. 

Overall?  No, not a good read for me.  

Edison's Conquest of Mars

Edison's Conquest of Mars

by Garrett P. Serviss

My Blurb:

One edition falsely describes this as "an absolutely wonderful SF masterpiece", but then says it was written in 1947, so that shows how much they know!  It's actually a newspaper serial first published in the late 1800s.  Anyway... the same blurb that got the year wrong goes on to say the following:

"Edison's Conquest of Mars is a science fiction novel by American astronomer and writer Garrett P. Serviss. It was written as a sequel to Fighters from Mars, an unauthorized and heavily altered version of H. G. Wells' The War of the Worlds. It has a place in the history of science fiction for its early employment of themes and motifs that later became staples of the genre."

Following the events of The War of the Worlds, in which Martians attack and lay waste to huge areas of Earth, humans across the globe must rally an effort to defend their planet from a repeat attack.  Fortunately for them, they are led by that amazing inventor and heroic warrior... Thomas Edison!  Will their efforts succeed (as is heavily implied by the title of this book)?  You'll have to read to find out! (Or not.  The title kind of gives it away, really.)

My Reaction:

Donald and I read this together for the 372 Pages We Won't Get Back podcast/book club.  

I haven't read much (any?) "space-themed" science fiction, though I've watched my share of TV shows and movies set in space.  Serviss apparently was the first or one of the first authors to write about... space suits, I think it was.  He also has a few other ideas that will be familiar to anyone who reads, views, or otherwise consumes space-y sci-fi.  

I give him credit for his creativity, but sadly, he wasn't much of a fiction-writer.  He had terrible pacing, practically no attempt at characterization, only the most barebone plot, and zero flair for storytelling.  Just awful, really.  Maybe a child without any expectations or experience of quality writing might enjoy this.  For everyone else, it's a curiosity, at best.  The occasional moments of unintended humor are the best thing this has going for it.  

One thing that particularly annoyed me about this book:

On the one hand, Serviss' version of Edison is an unapparelled genius, in this tale.  He reverse engineers alien technology (only his version is even better, don'tchaknow), conceptualizes and whips up new inventions and improvements on the fly (all behind the scenes, of course), and basically has the most amazing brain God has ever given a man.  

On the other hand, he continually makes idiotic strategic mistakes, at the cost of the other men's lives!  

"Hey!  There are some Martians coming!  Mr. Edison, should we use our powerful weapons to safely destroy them before they get too close, seeing as how they tried to annihilate us all on Earth just a while ago?"  

Edison says no.  Let's just wait and see what happens, first.  

Shocking surprise:  The Martians attack.  Many men are killed.

Edison:  "Oopsie!  Well, okay... Yeah, let's use our death ray... I guess..."  

And he never learns!  Some variation on this happens at least a few different times.  When you're on a mission to Mars to avenge Earth and protect it from further harm, you don't dilly-dally and pussyfoot, man!  You kill-kill-kill until every last Martian is dead.  (Or at least that's what I'd do, probably.  Hey, they started it with an unprovoked attack, and for all Edison's genius, it was only by a stroke of fortune that Earth's heroes were able to achieve the "conquest".  The Martians would be very lucky if I left any of them alive.)

Conclusion:  Glad to leave this one behind!

 

Upgrade

Upgrade
by Blake Crouch

(Edited) Blurb:

The unwilling recipient of a DNA "upgrade", Logan Ramsay is about to get the brain he always dreamed of, along with a host of other gene-level enhancements.  A holy grail of genetic engineering—one that could change our very definitions of humanity—has just been unearthed.  And now it's up to him to stop it from falling into the wrong hands.  But will he be transformed into something more than human… or something less?  

My Reaction:

Eh...

Well, to start with, unlike many of the readers whose reviews I've skimmed, I was unfamiliar with this author's work until I started reading Upgrade, so I came in with no expectations or preconceptions of what this novel might be.  (Though after starting it, I did see that Wayward Pines was based on his work, and I watched the first season of that...)  While reading reviews for The It Girl, I saw someone suggest that people would be better off reading this, if they wanted a real page-turner of a thriller.  (I'm not sure I agree.  Maybe this is the better of the two books in some ways, but I probably enjoyed reading the other one more, despite that.  And honestly, they're just such completely different books!  Comparing them feels pointless, really.)

So, I went in not knowing what to expect.  Aspects of the initial world-building phase of the book gave me the feeling I probably wouldn't like everything about it, but I hoped the story might move in a different direction.  In some ways, it did, but I probably should have trusted my gut reaction, because it was correct:  I didn't like this book.  

My chief complaints?  

• These are flat characters who elicit mostly flat emotions (with one or two notable exceptions toward the end).  
• The combination of dry science textbook infodump and descriptions of action sequences is boring.  Some reviewers have speculated that this was written "for the screen" (or at least with that as a fond wish), and it certainly feels like a possibility.  This author has had other works adapted for TV/movie, which bumps it up to a likelihood!
• Characters who are supposed to be geniuses display distinctly sub-genius intelligence.
• We're supposed to believe that humanity is a century away from extinction, and yet... most things seem pretty okay in the parts of the world we visit during this book.  Certainly not on the brink of extinction, barring something like a "planet killer" asteroid.  Yes, certain areas have flooded.  Yes, non-synthetic meat seems to be an expensive treat rather than part of a daily diet.  Yes, we're told that people are starving (somewhere).  But the major population centers are still there, around the globe.  There have been major advancements in transportation, as well as other engineering feats, and things don't seem to be too bad in middle-class America.  Again, not on the verge of collapse.
• A colossally irritating ending.  I guess it's not worth going into spoiler territory to expand on it, but I really don't buy Logan's theory for how to save the world.  I found it obnoxious, to be brutally honest, and it completely negated the previous however-many pages I'd read.  UGH.

I skimmed large chunks of the info-dump pseudoscience babbling after briefly considering just skipping straight to the end.  

A couple of quotes, since I bothered to take notes...

—"...Drive to the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, which had been hit by two cat 7 hurricanes in the last decade and left with no economy to speak of, and wonder how people found the will to go on."

First of all, allow me to guffaw my ever-lovin' head off at the ridiculous little "let me slip this in here all casual-like" factoid that they've added two more levels to the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale.  I live on the Gulf Coast and have lived through multiple hurricanes.  This little cutesy "cat 7" stuff...?  No.  Also, if things were that bad in coastal Mississippi, I think most people would find a way to leave, even if it meant leaving everything behind but what they could carry on their backs.  Why does this author think the people of MS are so powerless (or stupid?) that they would stay in a hellscape "with no economy to speak of" and no hope for improvement when there's a normal life still to be had in much of the rest of the country?  How insulting!

—"What if you create a bunch of people who are just drastically better at what they already were.  Soldiers.  Criminals.  Politicians.  Capitalists."  

Oh, here we go.  Ok, I'll grant you the politicians, because I'm fed up with them all, at this point and have trouble trusting a word any of them say, but saying that "capitalists" and "soldiers" (just any soldier, I guess, not narrowing it down to some type of scary, evil mercenaries, but including people who simply want to serve and protect their country) are on the same level as criminals?  Good grief.  Well, at least we know where he stands!

Was it worth the read?  For me, probably not.  I didn't love it.  

Super Constitution

Super Constitution

by Charles Kim

Unedited Blurb:

The birth of a legend begins in the early summer of 2016. Three extraordinary geniuses get together and combine their unique technologies. Not by armies and bombs or politics, but with these technologies the three geniuses wrote the "Super Constitution" and ordered the worlds most powerful governments to dismantle weapons of mass destruction and to establish the Global Government. The Global Government, establishing only one-world armed forces under its own direct control, set up revolutionary economic policies establishing unilateral currencies and complete free trade in the world.

My Reaction:

Donald and I read this together-- the latest 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back podcast subject.  As almost always with these 372 Pages book selections, it's not something I'd ever have chosen to read, if it weren't for the podcast.  Also as almost always, it was very amusing, for all the wrong reasons. 

The title and description honestly sounded like one of the most boring books I could imagine reading-- even worse than a tedious recounting of someone playing a classic 80s arcade game (thanks, Ready Player One)-- though not quite as unpalatable as another Bob Honey or Shadow Moon (because, come on).  I mean, fictional politics?  Sign me up!  I'm definitely not sick to the gills with actual, real-life politics; no, I am hungry for MORE and have an endless appetite for some random guy's political fantasies.  Can't get enough of those dry legal documents-- especially ones that aren't real and have no possible bearing on my life!  

However, to its credit, the first section of the book is nothing-- nothing-- like that.  Far from being dry or dull, it's just the most bizarre thing ever.  I can't say much without spoiling it, so I'll only suggest that you listen to the podcast, if you're interested.  Certain sections of this book are truly not to be missed, if you're a fan of absurd fiction.  

... And then the book moves on and gradually becomes more of what I'd originally expected (i.e. mind-numbingly boring), but we read every word and aren't sorry.  Yes, there are some paragraphs you might as well skip, but fortunately, even the dry sections are sprinkled with moments of unintentional hilarity and disturbing glimpses into the mind of the author.  Again, it's difficult to describe if you haven't actually read it (or listened to the podcast, as copies of the book are hard to come by).  It's like nothing else I've ever read.  

This is an excellent choice if you want a unique reading experience.  You do have to wade through some tripe to get to all the good stuff, though, so be forewarned.

Ready Player Two

Ready Player Two 

by Ernest Cline

Blurb:

An unexpected quest. Two worlds at stake. Are you ready?

Days after Oasis founder James Halliday's contest, Wade Watts makes a discovery that changes everything. Hidden within Halliday's vault, waiting for his heir to find, lies a technological advancement that will once again change the world and make the Oasis a thousand times more wondrous, and addictive, than even Wade dreamed possible. With it comes a new riddle and a new quest. A last Easter egg from Halliday, hinting at a mysterious prize. And an unexpected, impossibly powerful, and dangerous new rival awaits, one who will kill millions to get what he wants. Wade's life and the future of the Oasis are again at stake, but this time the fate of humanity also hangs in the balance.

My Reaction (with SPOILERS aplenty):

(This is another one to blame on 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back.  Shared read-aloud with Donald.)

Look, I'll be honest.  There's no way I would ever have read this if it weren't for the 372-Pages podcast.  I didn't like the first one (Ready Player One).  In fact, I don't remember much about it, except that I didn't like it and it felt like an endless description of people playing video games. (Why?!  Who could possibly like that?! Well, judging by the reviews and ratings, lots of people!  I'm just not one of them.)

Anyway, after RP1 and Armada, I went in knowing I'd dislike it, but parts of this one were even worse than I expected.  I don't know where to begin, how to organize my thoughts about this book...

Let's just make an unorganized list:

Again, there will be SPOILERS, so consider yourself warned!

-- The characters are no more likeable than they were the first time around.  And they're stupid.  They're grinning and high-fiving and whatever else they do like they're just out for another adventure with the Crew, yet the fate of billions of lives hangs in the balance!  

-- No-one needed (much less wanted) to know that much about Wade's "private life".  Why sully the pristine memory of Rivendell in this way?  Blurgh!

-- The L0-Five was totally unnecessary.  Just a waste of pages, and even worse, every time they popped up, we were subjected to an insufferable description of them kneeling to the High-Five. (Insert barf emoji here.)  The hero-worship is absolutely sickening, especially when you consider how undeserved it is!

-- Thanks, dude, for the play-by-play description of yet another crappy old video game.  Really enriched my life.  (Note: No matter how hard you try to make a pixelated video game sound lush and immersive and awe-inspiring, it doesn't change the fact that it's none of those things.)

--  So poorly written.  Abysmal.  ("Then" this, "then" that, "then", "then", "then"!  "And", "and", "and"!  It's like listening to a young child making up something on the fly.  Okay, I start too many sentences with "and" in my reviews, but I honestly think that's different.  I'm not being paid or trying to tell a story, here, for Things 1 and 2.)

-- What was with all the "needle-drops"?  Did someone complain that "classic 80s music" was neglected in the first book, so he decided to pump up the volume, pump up the volume, pump up the volume, dance dance annoy annoy in this one?  I love a lot of 80s music, but reading about it here just made me roll my eyes.  Ooh, good one. You mentioned a song I know.  I must be one of the cool kids, now. (Nerdy is the new cool, right?  Well, at least it was for a while.  I guess "woke" is the new new cool. ...sigh... It was nice while it lasted...)

-- The Prince section.  Good grief.  What was he thinking?  Seriously, what?  You could almost feel sorry for him when you see that he's written himself into a corner and has no clue how to get out.  Almost, but not quite, since he basically just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Ta-da!  I don't know how it happened, but we won!"  

-- He's back up to his old tricks again with the absolute inability to create and hold any tension whatsoever.  Oh, you think we're building up to some uncertainty?  You suspect that we're going to have cause to worry about our heroes for a bit?  NO!  Deus ex machina here, deus ex machina there, deus ex machina ev'rywhere!  Zero tension, ever.  Just slurp up the references, slap a goofy grin on your face, and desperately seek someone with whom to lock eyes and exchange a knowing look.  Congratulations, you're in The Club!  What do you want with characterization, plotting, and a modicum of suspense?  You're getting validation for having a passing familiarity with retro pop culture, you lucky reader, you!

-- Wade takes a tongue-lashing for not being an expert in The Silmarillion, which is unintentionally hilarious.  First, hardly anyone reads that, unless they are a true Tolkien-obsessed fanatic.  Second, Aech makes it sound like Wade has been somehow shirking his duty by not keeping constantly boned up on obscure titles.  ...But this quest has come out of the blue! They had no warning and no reason to expect that it would ever matter, especially after they won ownership of the OASIS, in the first book.  It's just ridiculous for her to be angry with him about this!  It felt like someone berating their high school Quiz Bowl teammate for not studying hard enough before a match. "Dude!  You're supposed to be our expert in landlocked European countries, but then you don't even know the GDP of Armenia!  I can't believe this, man!  You just cost us the tournament!  I hope you're happy, Wade, you utter piece of crap!"  

-- (I genuinely just had to look up the protagonist's name for that last one, that's how little impression he makes.) 

-- I think I'm losing steam, here.  One can only rant for so long before it happens...

-- The repetition!  Either the author can't remember what he's already told us or he has a low opinion of his audience's short-term memory.  

-- This author has form for casually dropping in some amazing things with no explanation-- "yada yada yada"-ing it.  (Curing cancer, anyone?) This time, he decided to spring "The Singularity" (a.k.a. "the posthuman era") on his unsuspecting readers.  Okay, I guess it might not count as springing it on them when it was fairly predictable that this might be where things were heading. I wish I could express how barf-worthy I found this entire last section of the book, but... Well, once you've described something as "barf-worthy", what else is there to say, really?  

...Okay, I've thought of some more things to say. 

First:  Once again, the author thinks we're stupid.  He keeps repetitively explaining that this means that people whose memories/brains have been downloaded/uploaded/whatever are "immortal".  I don't think you fully grasp what he's saying here, guys!  That means (whispers, with a bulging-eyed fanatic's facial expression) they'll never die.  They'll never know "the sting of human mortality". They're "going to live on forever".  "Death would have no more dominion."  And so on and so forth.  ...Erm, did you get that, or do I need to explain it for you again, speaking veeeeerrryyy sllllooooowwwwlllly? 

Second:  There's no point going into it, but I personally don't believe a person's soul can be downloaded/uploaded/slurped into a computer.  I'm skeptical that even one's memories can be digitized in that way, but for argument's sake, say they can; I guarantee that a copy of my memories won't be me anymore than a video of my 9th birthday party is a true, actual, meaningful, revisit-able copy of that snippet of time.  It's at best a visual and audio record of one angle/point of view of that party.  It's nice to have, but what a joke to suggest that it's anything like the rich, vivid experience of living it when it actually was happening!  Suggesting that one of these digital "clones" of someone's memories is a copy of the person is laughable.  (Go ahead, call me narrowminded and shortsighted.  I can take it.)

Third:  Where did all those embryos come from?  I don't think Wade ever told us!

Fourth:  They didn't ask permission to copy people's memories and eventually wake up those copies of them?  ...So much for ethics!

Fifth:  The description of the existence of these digitized "people" sounds rather hellish, if you take the time to think about it.  Sure, opportunities for limitless experiences, etc., but when you have eternity, the word "limitless" ceases to have any meaning.  Eventually, you'll get bored.  Tired.  Maybe even wishing for death.  Stuck with the same "people" forever.  Unable to forget anything! (!!!)  I don't know... That doesn't sound like paradise to me. 

Sixth:  "Life is good.  But it's very different from our lives back home."  Listen, Wade 2.0.  You're not alive.  Your "life" isn't actually life... But whatever.  

Seventh:  So let me get this straight.  Wade 2.0 and all the other 2.0 Crew are the ones charged with finding this theoretical Earthlike planet, (somehow) investigating it and deciding if/when to land, growing and (somehow) raising the embryos to begin populating the new world, etc.?  (This world-- assuming it's habitable for humans-- will certainly have its own set of completely unknown dangers and threats.  You're not going to just step off the Vonnegut and find a veritable Garden of Eden with only polite, hospitable lifeforms awaiting you.)  And you're telling me that Wade is the one in charge of making all these critical decisions?  ...I... I just... Look, don't count on this whole Proxima Centauri thing working out, is all I'm saying.  

Eighth:  That's how it ends.  With two Wades.  Truly a nightmare scenario.  (In passing, I suppose there can be infinite copies of any given person, in this world.  That's... weird.)  The copy of Wade is going off to explore the final frontier and the original will eventually die.  (So much for immortality!  This is no more true "immortality" for Wade 1.0 than saying that he'll be "immortal" if he has a child or that he'll live on through his legacy with the OASIS, the ONI, etc.)  In the meantime, the author wants us to know that "the people who remain back on Earth are still facing plenty of huge problems.  But they also still have the OASIS as their collective means of escape." So... Nothing's really changed, then.  The Earth is still dying (?) and everyone on it is just twiddling their thumbs while everything circles that great big cosmic drain in the sky.  Indulging in that good ol' OASIS opiate of the masses.  What a beautiful end to a wonderful tale!

Bonus:  Wade 2.0 tells us (in very long-winded fashion) that they've taken a "backup of our entire civilization" ("humanity's greatest hits").  "And someday perhaps we will encounter another civilization like our own to share it with.  Then we'll finally get a chance to compare notes."  Nooooo!!  He's going to start an intergalactic war!  Those aliens will sit through two or three of Wade 2.0's vintage 80s video game walkthroughs and they'll decide to do the rest of the multiverse a favor and vaporize Earth from afar!  Can you imagine many worse candidates for Ambassador for Earth than Wade Watts?!  

The only positive here was that it was (unintentionally) funny to read, especially when reading along with the podcast.  

Moon People 1: The Age of Aquarius

Moon People: The Age of Aquarius
by Dale M. Courtney


Author's Blurb:

This Book is based on the turning point for Earth into a new era of space travel and the beginning of the Age of Aquarius. The story focuses on one Man by the Name of David Braymer and his adventures from High school teacher to 1st Science Officer on board the Lunar Base 1 Mobile Base Station and his encounters with Alien Life forms through out our universe and the space Battle of all battles David experiences. I hope you enjoy the many adventures of David Braymer and his conquest in space and our journey into the Age of Aquarius.

My Reaction:
(This was a shared read-aloud with Donald-- another excellent 372-Pages bookclub-podcast selection!)

Wow.  I have to give it a one-star rating based on its complete lack of literary merit, ignorance (or arrogant dismissal?) of basic rules of grammar, printer-paper characters (cardboard has some substance to it, so "cardboard cut-outs" was too generous), water-thin plotting, etc.

BUT.
I say, BUT!
I have to admit that I enjoyed this book significantly more than several other books we've read for 372-Pages. The entertainment value is there!

It all comes down to what you're looking for in a book. If you need a laugh, give it a go (and check out the podcast linked above).

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go whip up some delicious stemage for supper.

Trucking Through Time

Trucking Through Time
by Charles E. Harris


(My Silly) Blurb:

In the middle of what they believe will be just another job hauling cargo, trucking duo Chad and Dale end up having the adventure of a lifetime.  This isn't a simple trip across the country: Chad and Dale are... trucking through time!

My Reaction:
Wow.  Another great selection by the 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back podcast book club. (As always, this was a shared read-aloud with Donald.)

In the immortal words of Dale Rhea (*ahem*), this is indeed a stirring tale of "mystery, drama, excitement, compassion, horror, and romance along with many, many other words that could never explain the trip [they] took"!

Truly.

Look, there's no way I can fully explain this book.  Just know that it's bizarre and unintentionally hilarious, but there are also some sections that are boring and/or  repetitious.  (Fellow podcast-listeners, by no means is this a 64-Squares situation, though!  Rest assured on that count!)  Harris had a tendency towards preachiness on his pet subjects, too, and there will be times when you'll shift uncomfortably in your seat and reflect that sometimes a book reveals a bit too much about its author...

The humor (again, completely unintentional) is wonderful, but the writing is bad (thus my rating).  If you're going to read it, I recommend giving the 372-Pages podcast a listen. 

(However, I must say I'm surprised that Mike and Conor didn't notice/mention the fact that Harris obviously "borrowed" his idea of the white girl adopted by Indians from Dances with Wolves, which incidentally was also about the Sioux and had a character-- the titular wolf-- named "Two Socks", which Harris one-upped with his own richly-developed character named "Three Socks"!)

One final note: I can't help but wonder who designed the cover art.  I can't find any credit for it.  Did Harris create it himself?

Relic

Relic 
by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child


Blurb:

Just days before a massive exhibition opens at the popular New York Museum of Natural History, visitors are being savagely murdered in the museum's dark hallways and secret rooms. Autopsies indicate that the killer cannot be human...

But the museum's directors plan to go ahead with a big bash to celebrate the new exhibition, in spite of the murders.

Museum researcher Margo Green must find out who-- or what-- is doing the killing. But can she do it in time to stop the massacre?

My Reaction:This isn't my usual fare, but on the whole, I enjoyed it.  (I'd give it 3.5 stars.)  The museum made for a fascinating and atmospheric setting, and I found the main characters interesting and sympathetic enough that I cared what happened to at least a few of them.

The references to 1990's technology brought back memories from my youth... In many ways, modern tech is of course wonderful, but I do feel some nostalgia for the good old days-- especially the time before smart phones!

Without giving away too much, I wasn't really surprised by the twist, since it had occurred to me as one possibility earlier in the novel-- still interesting reading, though.

Ultimately, I'm not sure whether I'll read more in this series or not.  It was a reasonably enjoyable but oftentimes slow read for me, until the action finally kicked in and the story flowed more easily.  Psuedo-scientific thrillers are a little outside what I generally like to read, but I might give the next one a try, at some point.  I took a sneak peek at some plot points from later on in the series, and I have to say, it sounds a little crazy, but maybe...

TekWar

TekWar
by William Shatner


Blurb:

Not satisfied with the thrills of being one of Greater Los Angeles’ toughest cops, Jake Cardigan turns to Tek, a computerized brain stimulant which transports the user to any reality he can imagine. He’s soon addicted to this fantasy-enabler—and it isn’t long before Cardigan is accused of dealing. When he fails to convince the mechanized jury of his innocence, the state strips his badge and sentences him to fifteen years in suspended animation. Four years later he’s awakened. His sentence has been changed, but no one will tell him why.

Cardigan’s search for answers takes him to Mexico, where a rogue scientist is attempting to rid the world of Tek. But these efforts have roused powerful enemies. Aiding this quest is the right thing to do, but for an ex-con, doing good can be the most dangerous decision of all.

My Reaction:
This is yet another shared read with Donald, chosen because it was featured on the "bad book" book club podcast, 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back.

Wow... Where do I even begin? When I first opened this document on my plasbook-- er, e-reader-- I little imagined the delights in store! Shatner and ghost-writer Ron Goulart have brought to life a stunning vision of the future, populated by finely drawn, truly distinctive characters whose scintillating, fast-paced, cleverly plotted adventures will have you clinging to the edge of your seat.

...Not! (Heh heh, really had you going for a minute there, didn't I?)

No, this novel will bring joy mostly just to those of us who take (perverse?) pleasure in absurdities. The phrase "so bad it's good" comes to mind. If you can enjoy watching a bad movie just to laugh at it, why not apply the same principle to bad books? It works better when you're sharing the joke with someone else, of course, which is why I'd recommend seeking out the relevant episodes of the podcast mentioned above.

What amazing crapcraftsmanship! The plas-this and plas-that! The skyvehicles in their infinite variety! The endless, mind-numbing cycle of travelling to a place, talking to a (typically "plump") person about other characters you've yet to meet-- rinse and repeat ad infinitum! The precisely measured (and usually unbelievably long) periods of time that things take to happen! The fact that nearly every secondary character has a gimmicky catch-phrase! The sheer stupidity of a future where androids feed printed slips of paper from slots in their chests and hands, every second person is a cyborg with one arm replaced by a weapon, and digital books are oh-so-conveniently printed on demand-- in a special shop-- a process which apparently takes hours-- rather than being available to read instantly on an electronic device! The befuddling decision to name a book after a "drug" that only makes a fleeting (and completely unimpressive) appearance in the pages of said book! The wonder and awe that is Beth Kittridge! All this and so. Much. More!

Summation: Best left to fans of humorously bad writing and those who so love Shatner that he can do no wrong. This isn't on the same level as The Eye of Argon (the previous 372 Pages selection), but then, what else is?

The Pole Vault Championship of the Entire Universe

The Pole Vault Championship of the Entire Universe
by Conor Lastowka


Blurb:

Kara Everglades has just finished her first year of high school and is longing for an adventure. So far her only option is an invitation from some upperclassmen to watch them drunkenly race a bunch of bullfrogs in a ditch. To be honest, she was hoping for something a bit more exciting.

Her grandfather, Cornelius Everglades, is a renegade who founded his own island micronation. Unfortunately, the rest of the world refuses to acknowledge it (possibly because he’s gone about the nation-building process using wildly illegal and unethical means).

When Cornelius shows up at Kara’s door needing her help and promising an adventure, Kara agrees to go along with his far-fetched plan to put his micronation on the map, even though a) she thought Cornelius was dead, and b) his scheme depends heavily on Kara wearing a mascot costume.

If Kara had known about the giant alien spaceship currently speeding toward her grandfather’s country with the intent to subjugate and humiliate mankind, she might have reconsidered.

My Reaction:
Donald and I decided to read this together after enjoying the "372 Pages" podcast by the author, Conor Lastowka, and Michael J. Nelson (of MST3K and Rifftrax fame).  We didn't know what to expect, but considering that the author writes for Rifftrax (and was funny in the podcast), we were optimistic.

It took me a little while to acclimate to this style of humor (which often veers into the absurd), but once we'd settled in, it was a very funny read, and we laughed more and more frequently as the story progressed.

At first, I thought the book was tailored for a young adult audience (mainly because of a teenage protagonist and the cartoony cover art), but some adult language (and maybe a few of the jokes) soon disabused me of that notion.  (Not that modern YA is pure as the driven snow, as far as cursing goes.  An older YA reader could enjoy this book, but I wouldn't say it's necessarily geared toward that audience.)

Both Donald and I thought that Cornelius was a strange, completely unsympathetic character (especially for a long-lost grandpa)-- and I'm not sure how I felt about Kara's increasing resemblance to him-- but this isn't exactly the kind of novel you should take too seriously, so though I don't really like Cornelius, I enjoyed the humor he brought to the story.

We agreed that the strongest parts of the novel were those featuring the aliens, which we thoroughly enjoyed.  (I wouldn't mind reading more about them, in fact.)

Recommended to anyone in need of a good laugh!

Slade House

Slade House
by David Mitchell


Blurb:

Down the road from a working-class British pub, along the brick wall of a narrow alley, if the conditions are exactly right, you’ll find the entrance to Slade House. A stranger will greet you by name and invite you inside. At first, you won’t want to leave. Later, you’ll find that you can’t. Every nine years, the house’s residents—an odd brother and sister—extend a unique invitation to someone who’s different or lonely: a precocious teenager, a recently divorced policeman, a shy college student. But what really goes on inside Slade House? For those who find out, it’s already too late... 

Spanning five decades, from the last days of the 1970s to the present, leaping genres, and barreling toward an astonishing conclusion, this intricately woven novel will pull you into a reality-warping new vision of the haunted house story—as only David Mitchell could imagine it.

My Reaction:
I'm not sure why, but somehow I had the impression that this short novel included some seriously gruesome horror. I was almost a little worried that it might be too much for me. (I like atmospheric and psychological horror, but my tolerance for body horror is low.) That worry was needless, as Slade House is less horror than it is paranormal science fiction.

The novel starts off promisingly. The shifting points of view add a layer of interest, and characters are quite distinctive and well-drawn, considering how briefly we meet each one. I was intrigued and enjoyed following the trail of breadcrumbs and putting the pieces together.

However, at some point, my interest began to wane. For one thing, it became a bit too repetitive. (By the very nature of the story, there has to be some repetition, I suppose, but it could've been handled more skillfully.) It stopped being spooky, then the ending had a definite flavor of deus ex machina. It was a little too "been there, done that" in the last paragraph or two, as well.

To be honest, I also have a bad taste in my mouth from two or three things that felt out of place in the context of the novel. I've forgotten the one(s) from earlier in the book, but the last one came just a few pages from the end-- a reference to "neocons" in a list of "vultures" that also includes "feudal lords", "slave traders", "oligarchs" and "predators". I just... Why? (I'm curious how the author would even define "neocon", since it seems to be a chameleon term that means something different to each person who uses it.)

Meh, whatever.

I enjoyed much of the first half (or more), but sadly, it eventually fizzled. It's a quick read, though, so it doesn't take much of an investment of time and energy to give it a try.