TekWar

TekWar
by William Shatner


Blurb:

Not satisfied with the thrills of being one of Greater Los Angeles’ toughest cops, Jake Cardigan turns to Tek, a computerized brain stimulant which transports the user to any reality he can imagine. He’s soon addicted to this fantasy-enabler—and it isn’t long before Cardigan is accused of dealing. When he fails to convince the mechanized jury of his innocence, the state strips his badge and sentences him to fifteen years in suspended animation. Four years later he’s awakened. His sentence has been changed, but no one will tell him why.

Cardigan’s search for answers takes him to Mexico, where a rogue scientist is attempting to rid the world of Tek. But these efforts have roused powerful enemies. Aiding this quest is the right thing to do, but for an ex-con, doing good can be the most dangerous decision of all.

My Reaction:
This is yet another shared read with Donald, chosen because it was featured on the "bad book" book club podcast, 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back.

Wow... Where do I even begin? When I first opened this document on my plasbook-- er, e-reader-- I little imagined the delights in store! Shatner and ghost-writer Ron Goulart have brought to life a stunning vision of the future, populated by finely drawn, truly distinctive characters whose scintillating, fast-paced, cleverly plotted adventures will have you clinging to the edge of your seat.

...Not! (Heh heh, really had you going for a minute there, didn't I?)

No, this novel will bring joy mostly just to those of us who take (perverse?) pleasure in absurdities. The phrase "so bad it's good" comes to mind. If you can enjoy watching a bad movie just to laugh at it, why not apply the same principle to bad books? It works better when you're sharing the joke with someone else, of course, which is why I'd recommend seeking out the relevant episodes of the podcast mentioned above.

What amazing crapcraftsmanship! The plas-this and plas-that! The skyvehicles in their infinite variety! The endless, mind-numbing cycle of travelling to a place, talking to a (typically "plump") person about other characters you've yet to meet-- rinse and repeat ad infinitum! The precisely measured (and usually unbelievably long) periods of time that things take to happen! The fact that nearly every secondary character has a gimmicky catch-phrase! The sheer stupidity of a future where androids feed printed slips of paper from slots in their chests and hands, every second person is a cyborg with one arm replaced by a weapon, and digital books are oh-so-conveniently printed on demand-- in a special shop-- a process which apparently takes hours-- rather than being available to read instantly on an electronic device! The befuddling decision to name a book after a "drug" that only makes a fleeting (and completely unimpressive) appearance in the pages of said book! The wonder and awe that is Beth Kittridge! All this and so. Much. More!

Summation: Best left to fans of humorously bad writing and those who so love Shatner that he can do no wrong. This isn't on the same level as The Eye of Argon (the previous 372 Pages selection), but then, what else is?