Horrorstör

Horrorstör

by Grady Hendrix

Blurb:

Something strange is happening at the Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio. Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. Sales are down, security cameras reveal nothing, and store managers are panicking.

To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they’ll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination.

A traditional haunted house story in a thoroughly contemporary setting, Horrorstör is designed to retain its luster and natural appearance for a lifetime of use. Pleasingly proportioned with generous French flaps and a softcover binding, Horrorstör delivers the psychological terror you need in the elegant package you deserve.

My Reaction:

This was my first time reading anything by this author, and it was a shared read-aloud with Donald.  I happened across it on Goodreads; the idea of a horror story set in an IKEA was too intriguing to pass up.  Since Donald is Swedish, I thought he might be interested, too.  

I didn't know exactly what to expect, but I guess I was picturing very mild, even goofy horror.  Something like a slightly more adult version of Scooby-Doo, maybe.  It started out kind of like that, but then it turned into more traditional horror.  Unfortunately, that part of the novel wasn't really to my taste. 

There is one genuinely creepy scene where people are trying to navigate the empty store and simply can't find their way around.  That's my kind of horror.  After that, when the scary stuff is actually there in the flesh and starts inflicting torture and blathering on and on, I basically lost interest and just wanted it to be over.  On a positive note, it did get a tiny bit better again at the very end.   

The catalog format is clever, and I did like the humorous IKEA references.  I've never worked retail, but I can see how the book is tailored for those who have or do.  Still, I think suggesting (even in jest) that working retail is akin to being imprisoned and tormented is extremely silly, to put it mildly.  

I feel the novel as a whole lacked polish.  There are major plot points that are never fully explained (such as why the police couldn't find the store for so long), and it lagged a lot in the middle (again, the horror-heavy part).  Still, I'm intrigued by the blurbs/titles of some of the author's other books, so I'll probably try another.  

Rock Paper Scissors

Rock Paper Scissors

by Alice Feeney

Blurb:

Think you know the person you married? Think again…

Things have been wrong with Mr and Mrs Wright for a long time. When Adam and Amelia win a weekend away to Scotland, it might be just what their marriage needs. Self-confessed workaholic and screenwriter Adam Wright has lived with face blindness his whole life. He can’t recognize friends or family, or even his own wife.

Every anniversary the couple exchange traditional gifts—paper, cotton, pottery, tin—and each year Adam’s wife writes him a letter that she never lets him read. Until now. They both know this weekend will make or break their marriage, but they didn’t randomly win this trip. One of them is lying, and someone doesn’t want them to live happily ever after.

Ten years of marriage. Ten years of secrets. And an anniversary they will never forget.

My Reaction:

(I listened to the audiobook version of this one.)

I didn't see that coming. Not sure if it was because I was listening with divided attention while doing other things (piecing a quilt, mainly), or if it was just that deftly handled, but the twist caught me off guard.  I'm not sure it makes complete sense under closer scrutiny, but as a casual listener, I found it entertaining to have the rug pulled out from under me.  

I'm only getting around to writing this a fair bit of time after finishing the audiobook, so I'm probably forgetting things... I vaguely remember burning out on the story and giving it a break for a while, reverting to podcasts for entertainment.  I think I found the characters tiring and frustrating, perhaps, and the pacing a little slow.  

The author again displays her usual tendency to insert "clever thoughts" (described by some as cheesy cliches or fortune cookie sentiments) here and there throughout her work.  It's a very distinctive style, and while a little of it is fine, after a certain point it can be wearying, if not annoying.  I most certainly rolled my eyes at the gibe at people who dare write one-star reviews.  (I imagine it was supposed to be amusing, but it came across as thin-skinned to me.)  

Ah, more of it is coming back to me, now... I remember wondering what on earth was about to happen after the book ended.  I can't get into it without revealing too much, but... Well, what's supposed to happen next?  What were two of our characters expecting to happen?  What's their plan?  It feels odd that they just left evidence behind (on display, even) for someone to inevitably find and question.  Very weird behavior from apparently sane, intelligent people.  Did they actually believe that no-one would ever go there and see it?  

Also, now that I see that this is being adapted for TV, I find myself wondering how they'll handle the element of the anniversary letters without giving too much away.  I'll be interested in seeing it when it comes out.  

I'm going for 3.5 rounded up to 4 stars (despite my irritation with the 1-star reviewer comment).  

A Killer Christmas Affair: A Cozy Mystery

A Killer Christmas Affair: A Cozy Mystery

by Sussie Jordan

Blurb:

The Christmas party is in full swing as Darbie and Marisol show off their new business venture, Sunflower Hacienda, as a magnificent Mexican style resort on Lake Travis, when suddenly, Santa is found dead. The Sheriff announces it was an accident. Now it’s up to Darbie and Marisol, with the help of their loveable Saint Berdoodle, to find the killer before anyone else gets hurt and to save their business! Who would want Santa dead?

My Reaction:
Oof, I don't know how to rate this one...!  It's another 372-Pages selection—this year's cozy mystery for the lead-up to Christmas.  It's not uncommon for books featured on this book club podcast to be a bit challenging to rate:  Sometimes I'll rate one highly simply because it was unintentionally hilarious and therefore fun to read.  Other times, my rating more closely aligns with my opinion of the book's... quality (or lack thereof).  This time, there's an extra complication in the fact that so much of the story seems to have been "borrowed" (lifted directly) from another book (one that guides would-be cozy authors through the process of writing Christmas cozy mysteries).  

Well, I can heartily recommend the episodes of the podcast about this book.  The book itself needs a lot of work, to be honest.  I wasn't expecting much complexity, given how short the book is, but there is barely any investigation at all before the guilty party goes nuts and brings everything to a too-hasty conclusion.  Not a satisfying resolution to the mystery, though I have to admit there were some funny bits to enjoy before the precipitous ending.

The Land of the Moepek

The Adventures of the Teen Archaeologists: The Land of the Moepek

by Larry Elis and Denise Brown Elise

Blurb:

Three teenagers Billy who is seventeen, Thomas who is sixteen and Rebecca who is fifteen are from Britain and are the children of archaeologists. During a family vacation to Africa they meet Samirah and her two best friends Adam and Atikah. The six teenagers travel through the Pyramid of the Moepek and find their way to the underground city of the Moepek civilization using an ancient map. They not only encounter wild animals, dinosaurs, warriors, and assassins, but also realize they they are prisoners in the strange underground world. There is Naeduur who is the head warrior in charge of protecting the king and his royal family. Naeduur is furious at the six teens for entering into the Land of the Moepek. Naeduur would like nothing more than to destroy the teenagers. There is also Isabella. She is very powerful and can perform all kinds of magic. She will stop at nothing to destroy her enemies and those that get in her way. The Land of the Moepek is full of traitors and plots to destroy the entire royal family. Princess Assuenta with the help of the Teen Archaeologists must work to stop the assassination of her father the king and the destruction of her entire family. Not even her parents believe their daughter the princess. Princess Assuenta must find a way to make them believe or her father will die. The people of the Moepek are an extremely wealthy civilization with riches beyond the teens' imaginations. But all their wealth means nothing if they can't survive the gigantic flying dinosaurs and the gigantic gorilla creature that threatens them.

My Reaction:

(This was another 372-Pages We'll Never Get Back selection and a shared read with Donald.)

So.  What can one say about The Land of the Moepek, really?  It is utterly bananas and hilarious—just read the blurb for a tiny taste of the writing style.  

If you're the right kind of reader, this book (and the podcast episodes devoted to it) will be a source of amazing entertainment.  If you're not, you'll be convinced we're all nuts, my friend.  (Sorry, that was more a reference to the authors' other novel, Antigua: The Land of Fairies, Wizards and Heroes—also covered by 372 Pages and also highly recommended.)

I'm giving it 5 stars out of appreciation for the joy it gave.